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NoFX lyrics

Album: Pump Up the Valuum [2000]

Tracks14
 01  And Now for Something Completely Similar
 02 Take Two Placebos and Call Ma Lame
 03  What's the Matter With Parents Today?
 04  Dinosaurs Will Die
 05  Thank God It's Monday
 06  Clams Have Feelings Too
 07  Louise
 08  Stranger Than Fishin'
 09  Pharmacist's Daughter
 10  Bottles to the Ground
 11  Total Bummer
 12  My Vagina
 13  Herojuana
 14  Theme from a Nofx Album
all NoFX lyrics



And Now for Something Completely Similar
Hello, Welcome our CD
Can you hear the blatant similarity
To Linoleum and Shadows of Defeatback to top
What's the Matter With Parents Today?
Mom and dad, howd ya get so rad. when exacly did you get so hip
Wearing tenage clothes you're always coming to my shows
And telling me that I should mellow out
I'ts absurd, you're singin everyword
Your not supposed to like my band, things I like you don't understand
So please put down down the roman coke, that's not behavior for old folk
Can't we just bang out on holidays
Dad and mum, what planet are you from
And what convinced you to pack up and leave
Doing drugs and asking me for hugs, what's the matter with parents today
Not again, when will it end
Dads dressing like motley crue and why moms hair dyed bright blue
There staying out till 2 or 3 and then having sex publicly
I tought the apple fell far from tree
Mom and dad I think you ought, to quit so much pot
And hanging with my friends
Laying round on the couch with my misfits records out
Sofly bangin your heads
Maybe it's just a passing phase
What's the matter with my parents these daysback to top
Dinosaurs Will Die
Sit back wath it crumble, see drowing watch the fall
I feel just ternble about' it, that's sarcasm, let it burn
I'm gonna make a toast when it falls apart
I'm gonna raise my glass abuv my heart
Then someone shouts thats what they get
For all the the years of hit and run 4 all the piss broke band on vhone
Where did all their money go don't we all know
Parastic music industry as it destroys itself
Well show then how it's supposed to be
Music written from devotion notabitchin, not for fame
Zero people are exploited there are no tricks up our sleeve
Were gonna die fight against the mass appeal
Were gonna kill the seven record deal make records
That have more than one good song the dinosaurs will slowly
Die and I do belive no one will cry I'm just fucking
Glad I'm gonna be there to watch the fall prehistoric music
Industry three feet in la brea tas extinction mever felt so good
If you think anyone will feel badly you are sadly mistaken
The time has come for evolution fuck collusion kill by five
Whatever happenedto the handshake whatever happened to
Deals no-one would break whatever hapened to integrity
It's still there it always was for playing music just because
A million reasons why all dinosaurs must dieback to top
Thank God It's Monday
I'm gonna tell you what I reallly think about mondays
Cause they feel like saturdays
When you don't gotta go to work everyday is a holiday
I wake up when I want to do anything I wanna do
Can't wait for tuesday
I really don't like fridays I can't what I wanna do
Sold out at the movies can't eat at the restaurant
Everyone whants to party but the bars full of cigarette smoke
I think I'll stay home I think I'll wait for monday
I live a 5 day weekend I gotta a year long holiday
Thank God it's moday
The only place I gotta be is at the show or on the first tee
Thank God for irony
Nevermind aggravation just gimme modulation gimme another key
I'll tell you why I like tuesdays, cause they're kinda like chrismas
Cme to think about wednesdays, are a little hanakah
Tursdays thanksgiving I'm talking about good living I think I'll give thanx
Thank God it's modayback to top
Clams Have Feelings Too
Birds are dumb cause small bird brain
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk most other sing
I don't see you eating a talking bird
Pigs smell bad they roll in pooh
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet
Put them in a mason jar and pickle them
No chowder for you, cause clams have feelings too
Actualy they don't have central nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it they don't have a face
They have no face, no place for ears
There's no clam eyes to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery
I don't believe it's selfish to eat defenseless shellfish
No chowder for you clams have feelings too
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have feelings tooback to top
Louise
She gotta silicone cock sticking in her ass and one in her cunt
A butterfly vibrator straped tight to her clit
But who's got the remote control
That would belong to louise
She's got a new pet a real vaginal tease
You know that mommy's little is not gonna do
As she please
If she don't want to get a spankin
She like to sing like a six year old brat
Mommy discipline me cause you know I've been bad
Start with cat then she'll move to a crop
Neither one is willing to stop
She knows that girls just wanna have fun
With four piercing on each side of her libia
A little luggage lock connecting each one
Prevents her girl from going astray
Slut you think you've seen your master mean
You better lick my puss and asshole clean
Treat my clit like bubllegum
Bitch make me come
It's time for bed she'll secure her head
Between her thighs for a thorogh night suck
Along whiththis she'll be driking her piss
So louise don't have to get up
Two goodnesses in love
One resides below one reigns from above
One adorns cuffs while one covets keys
The purgatorial touch of louiseback to top
Stranger Than Fishin'
Got a no string guitar, got a
Sunn beta head, I'm a rock & roll
Star, I ain't no musician some things
Stranger than fishin, got a
Beat on a drum no how to sing
Outta key got some illegal drugs
I ain't no musician some things
Are weird I know what I am
Weigh out another gram
Some of us have all the luck
No matter how much we fucking suckback to top
Pharmacist's Daughter
Give her a call for demorol and amal nitrate
I tell her dad don't worry sir we wont stay out late
I'm in love with her, the pharmacist's daugter
She's got my love, I got her drugs
Waking up in the afternoon can't wait to see her
Brigin in some colopin, I'm huffin ether
She's the one for me, without personality, I still want to see her everyday
We got a date and I can't wait to see my baby
If I wine and dine her she just might sedate me
She's so beatiful, she keeps my prescriptions full
She's got my love I get her drugs
Looks like I've gone and bought the pharmacyback to top
Bottles to the Ground
You know it when it's over
Doors are closing feel the
Sober staring at you
You better take
One last good look
One more round and
It's bottles to the
Ground smashing
Of the glass what a supersonic sound
You gotta pull the
Plug when it's time
To die bottles to
The ground
Theres a suitcase
On the sidewalk
There's a record in
A milkcrate, she'll be
Staying you'll be
Trowing wiskey
Over one lip
One more round
Then it's bottle
To the ground
Smasing of the
Glass a perfect
Imperfect sound
You gotta pay the
Piper when the rats
Are gone whoa whoa
All bottles
To the groundback to top
Total Bummer
Go away sunny day
All the horny people sitting in front of their tv and thinking
What is wrong with me I'm not a monster
Why won't anybody fuck me
I don't wanna live life lonely
Why does everyone have to be perfect

Go away sunny day
All the barflys sipping whiskey
Fighting ever present pity
Wondering what they are sucking back for
Is it the drink or trepidation,
Watching all trains leave the station
Left standing alone without a ticket

You light up my life
You give me hope to carry on
You light up my days
And you light up my life

Go away sunny day
Stop searching cause there's no answer
Just a long line of disaster
There's no simple way to stop the sadness
Life's not fair I'm glad it's not
This isn't heaven just a lonely planet
On the verge of self destructionback to top
My Vagina
My vagina has two set of lips, but I don't get
Monthly blood drips, my vagina hardly even used
My vagina got lots of extra skin. they took my
Outtie and made it and made it in. turning dounie into
Marie osmand
Operation succesfull, but now I gotta pee thru a
Miniature hole, gotta remember to put the seat
Down and when I wipe my ass I go from
Front to back cause I don't wanna bladder infection
I never tought I'd miss my vas deferans
I trade it for a pair of huge kins cans
Now I got to hang with lesbians
Operation paid up front now I show all
My friends my new designer cunt
They think I'm kinda weird but that's
Ok with me cause now I kick their ass from the ladies tee there's
Nothing finer than having a vaginaback to top
Herojuana
Light the match burn the flower
Leave behind all the wrong why be
Sad when happiness can be bought for
A little more than free modern
Day prohibition are we men, are
We children at what age can i
Choose how to live the only real
Drug problem is scoring real
Good drugs havent we lerned our leson
The corner store has the finess scotch
But who's get uncut powder we
Just want what is ours dignity
If God created plants and buds
That I find and abuse then
Who the fuck are you to juge me?back to top
Theme from a Nofx Album
Theme we're professional punkers we come from the sublures
After 15 years we still having fun
Now we're over 30 not looking so purty at least we got a beat up accordian
That's erik our drummer his fathers a plumber
He drank enough booze to get rhode island drunk
Now he's straight but smelly he's got one big belly
From living the good life provided by punk
Singnin singnin singnin
Buy me a beck's bear or pass me the bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we're over 30 doin just fine
El hefe is not satanic he's one hip hispanic
He grew up with one dozencousins and kin
He wears baggy pants and he knows how to break dance
You've seen him doing every impersonation
That melvin on six string so tell me I can't sing
Oh I know you can just don't do it around me
Stick with what you know
Playing guitar solo with hetson and watt in punk rock karaoke
Singnin singnin singnin
Buy me a beck's bear or pass me the bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we're over 30 doin just fine
My name is fat mike I'm obsessed by big lesbians
I've been a punk rocker for most of my life
I sing kinda flat I'm not really so fat
But that's how I hit them with a hook or a slice
I'm kent I do sounds look he's getting so round
I'm timmy the turtle he counts and he clicks
I'm gay I don't care someone please cut his hair
I'm limo from scotland so give me hanggis
Singnin singnin singnin
Buy me a beck's bear or pass me the bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine we're over 30 doin just fine
Buy me a beck's bear or pass me the bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Buy me a quamlude or chop me a lime we're pushin 40 we're doin just fineback to top
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